OK,
so what exactly is a drinking contest?
Basically its an event that possibly involves you and maybe a couple of
your friends. You could expand it to total strangers who just want to
get totally fucked up. Either way, the goal is to drink. The winner gets
nothing in particular except maybe a pile of puke next to them in the
morning. The contest could include:
- Chugging Beer
- Slamming Shots
- Racking up Beer Bongs
- Finishing off a Keg
- Anything to do with drinking alcohol
Now. lets
go over what a drinking contest does NOT include.
- The winner wins by DYING
So, when
some fag goes totally overboard and can't hold his liquor, the worst case
is the ambulance comes and they are whisked away to get their stomach
pumped. People's moms' or significant others are mad at the party-goers
for letting that person get so fucked up they needed medical attention.
What exactly do we call it when said fag dies? a dumb fucking cock. Yup.
who the fuck drinks themselves to death just to win some drinking contest
you ask?
These guys do:
11.3.06 |
Man dies at beer drinking contest | |
| So, basically this fuckface was at a Beer drinking contest and decides to just 'drink a handle of brandy'. Who the fuck drinks an assload of brandy at a beer drinking contest?!! Drink Beer you fucking tool! Damn! That's a Darwin's award winner right there... | ||
3.9.05 |
Man Wins Tequila Drinking Contest, Dies | |
| This guy was actually a tough sonuvabitch. 50 shots is a lot of tequila to drink, but it was only for like $1000. People need to learn to love the almighty Bullquila. The Red Bull alone will keep you alive for years. | ||
4.2.04 |
Cal student dies in drinking game | |
| A "drinking game with friends"? Man, these youngsters are killing over quicker than usual these days. A drinking game is supposed to be dominated in a few rounds and then the loser gets puked on. This guy just held it in and decided to die. wuss | ||
10.20.03 |
Russian dies after winning vodka-drinking contest | |
| Now this motherfucker is one big bitch. He drank 3 bottles!! Three bottles!!. What in the hell is the matter with those damn Russians? Killing 3 bottles of Vodka in 30 minutes is just fucking insane. One bottle is insane. Once again, a situation where Red Bull will save the damn day... | ||
2.27.01 |
Drinking contest suspected cause of death | |
| This young pup just sucked at drinking. He was 18 and died after being at the bar. I think it was the well drinks that killed him. Some of that shit is lethal. Bottom shelf rum should never be sold to anyone under any circumstances. | ||
Basically all I see here are wusses. Yes, they drank more than the rest of the schmucks in the contest, BUT they didn't return to defend their crown for years to come. What good is kicking ass at a drinking contest if you can make fun of the pussies you beat the next day? w-e-a-k i tell you. Being the reigning drunken champion is what counts, not blowing your whole fucking load on one contest and dying like a bitch. That shit is for pussies.
Below is a simple equation pointing out the benefits of not dying:
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So, don't fucking die and live to drink another day